Today we discuss friendships! What are we without our friends? So many have asked which friendships are better, female to female friendships or female-male friendships! Hear Tigeress’ and I take on the friendship tip.
Girlfriends, Soul Food, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Waiting to Exhale, Two Can Play That Game, Reloaded, Letters to A Stranger different silverscreen or bigscreen products which however one thing in common – Female Friendships! Whilst watching some we have seen ourselves or some of our friends in the characters. How many times have you heard that African women gossip too much, how there are some friends that are calculating evil on their fellow ‘friends’, competing with each other, man-snatching, ever heard some say ‘Wena, that dress would have looked better on me?’….when I hear women who say this about their friends I always think that they’re truly not friends! Some women are together just for the ‘status’ some have , some hold on to their ‘friends’ because they get presents and nice things, they know handsome men, I could go on and on these aren’t friendships, its all fake and therefore that’s why there’s plenty of room for betrayal, gossiping, mere bad-mind because the foundation of friendship isn’t a firm one to start with!
On the other hand, there are great friendships, where we relate as African women, we learn from each other, we gist, laugh, advice each other, pray together, and are just the friend we need to be! As African women we face many challenges in life, be it in love, work, family and our friends are our rocks, our book-ends, our confidants. We don’t always agree but respecting our friendships and differences is what make our bonds sronger!
What a female friend should be. A sister. A female friend should be like a sister who eventually becomes a part of you- more like family. Someone you can tell almost anything and would not judge you, back-bite you or be jealous of you, but someone who sets you in the right direction; is always motivating, and encouraging. Someone I can pick up the phone and say just about anything to and not feel stupid or silly. One who despite of age, profession, race, income, and position, you can always feel comfortable with. No intimidation.A female friend should be ready to defend you no matter what. Trust and predict! Even though this might sound far fetched, but it's true. There are few women who posses this because women tend to be emotional about everything. When one has to be careful and review the things said to a female friend, then she is just a friend and not a sister! Female friends are wonderful. When there is no competition and backstabbing, it is a wonderful thing to have. Women understand each other and since we are emotional beings we need like minds to get us through our struggles
Shona asks 'Can Man & Women be Friends?'
If a guy is friends with a girl, it doesn't mean the following has to be true, but the probability of one of the following is high:
(1) the dude is gay,
(2) she is hot and he wants to bang her,
(3) she is not hot but he still wants to bang her,
(4) she has cute friends."
Yes of course we can!!I have male friends whom I have no iota of lusting feeling for, I don’t ever want to romp the sack or see them naked and I have made it clear to them either in jest or straight up to the point! So once sexual tension has been cleared in comes a connection devoid of lust and platonic friendship is born!
Women would like to say a female friendship is better than a male friendship, but when they reflect on their long term friendships many will admit that the longest and in-fact the best friendships they’ve had would be with their male friends. Male friends that have no relationship interest in a female friend and vise versa have known to be the best friendships to have. Male friends tend to be more forgiving than most females. When it comes to relationship advice, men are in most cases in a position to give a better and more truthful opinion.
In conclusion we say:
Unlike our family, we actually choose our friends. I never use the term ‘friend’ lightly, I trust my friends, I hear what they’ve got to say BUT do I always listen…uh hell naw! I also guard my friendships closely, I also work on the thought that I don’t have to friends with my friends’ friends, my colleagues aren’t my friends..and if any-one is about to talk about their other ‘friend’ and go on and on, I literally switch off from that conversation…and if I have any secrets I keep them to myself!! If you are unhappy with your friendships, like any relationship talk it through, if talking doesn’t change anything then moving on from such cancerous relationships is the solution. So no matter the sex of your friends, love them tender!!